Wrote this last night. Don’t question my motivation and don’t read between the lines! I really did want to write a happy poem. But at the risk of sounding maudlin, I wrote something sincere… and hard to explain. This one really sapped me of all my dregs of fantasy… hopefully the next one, whenever it comes, will be just as earnest, but a tad bid lighter :)
Well here it is:
I’ll write a happy poem tonight.
Nothing will burden my pen in its flight
There will be no love lost,
No joy at stake.
None of destiny’s cruel games;
No falls from grace.
I might speak of true love’s first kiss-
When every song appeared my heart’s story;
When life made complete sense
And all roads led to her and eternity.
Spare me for now the pitfalls in love,
‘Tis not a poem for it.
Think not of the last kiss
And the longing to relive it
Neither the hollowness of empty promises
Nor emotions left unexpressed
There’s some hurt, a little pain,
Will take a while to explain.
Let me speak instead of the sparkle in her eyes,
Even if it be for the tears I caused to fall
Or let me unravel the spring in her step,
The gait in her stride
Yet one day she stumbled-
And I wasn’t beside.
But this instance will portray the beauty in chaos
Not the havoc that ensues;
The resolve of teenage romance,
Not its ebbing as summer wanes.
I’ll embrace the vivacity of life today,
If only these anchors didn’t hold me to the past.
Will recall every single happy moment-
So what if they leave tears in their wake.
There may be tranquility in solitude,
A divinity in pure silence.
There’s also pathos in loneliness
And muted suffering beyond stillness.
So.. many stay out of the fray, or just choose to look away
Lucky are those; but blessed are they:
Those who loved, lost and still survive
With feelings that time couldn’t erase, nor poems revive.
Oh she hums a different song now
A melody far better than mine
Maybe a poem someday about the symphony
That’s his now but could have been mine.
But as long as she’s happy,
I have no desire for grief
In secret though, I loved her
Maybe in solitude… I will weep.
Renegade
