Break-up

I dug this poem out of the cobwebs recently. Wrote this poem on 27 June, 2006. Here it is, verbatim:

Venting my frustration and feelings for her. Realising I am lucky to be out of it. First try at blank verse

My present is hazy

The past is pain

The world has lost its meaning

My very existence is in doubt

Nothing is as it seems

Since you were gone.

Your caressing words that lit my way

The pearls of laughter that made my day

Those beautiful eyes that said it all

Those beaming lips that played me on.

You stood on the stairs

And gazed at me

You stole a glance from everyone

And glanced at me.

I felt those eyes- and I felt truly blessed!

That smile that assured me you will be there.

But this reality bites and our time is done

I thought this day would never come

But here it arrives

On the crest of fond memories-

Turning bitter as the moment passes

When the truth finally sinks in:

Why?! It’s more relief than dejection

No more timeless conversations

No more lonely talks

Will never lose myself in dreamy thoughts

But why then- I smile as I walk?

The heart has finally set in

Reality has now realized

I’d committed a great blunder

Somehow halting at the edge of the crevice.

There’s more to this world than the innocence of your eyes

More to it than your playful smile

I know I should move on

I know I will

Loving you made life worth it

Now it’s time to do my little bit

Each new day calls out to me:

Rise to the challenge like you always did

You won’t understand

I am finally rid

Why is it a relief

That you left like you did

I have gathered myself

It was quite easy

For the writing is on the wall-

You don’t need me

Renegade

Forbidden Fruit

After four years, poetry has rekindled in my life. It's never that simple though. But whatever happens, I will always be grateful that this phase has inspired me to take up writing again.

They say opposites are over-rated

Desire doesn't last

That I was too whimsical

Dreaming about an iconoclast.

The ring of your voice

The spring in your step;

Lit stubs between your fingers

That I struggled to accept.

Your veil of ease

That confuses most men-

Incredible what a person can accomplish

Fueled by panic and cigarettes!

When you laugh, I lose a part of me-

The part that's dark and twisted.

When you laugh, I can pretend-

Pretend that it never existed

Perhaps I can ignore you

Let these feelings wither with time.

Or perhaps when I see you next

Your hand might just slip into mine.

We deserve a better ending

I know at least you do.

How can I be responsible for your agony?

When I can barely contain my own

So I struggle through cold verses,

Pen a fitting obituary.

To another dismal story-

Another frittered opportunity

Even so, these words flow,

Weaving memories of the past

Yet again this heart bleeds

While logic condones the shards.

Renegade